i hate this city. i really do. i've lost my atm card, and i think i have a pretty good idea of who has it. goddamnit.
sigh.
everything here is concrete. there are few trees, and where they are, they were planted here by people who come along weekly and water them. i just hate everything about it. Especially the people. i hate the people here.

a fucking mid-50's senior came up to me yesterday, and said i apparently was 'in her studio space'. Normally, i wouldn't care about this, but she went on and on and fucking on about how hard she's worked to be where she is, ect. BOO-HOO, YOU BUTCH CUNT!! It's not my goddamn fault you decided to apply yourself 3/4ths of the way through your life so you're surrounded by better artists who are thirty years younger than you!! motherfucker. This wouldn't be even half as bad if I had actually been in the major's studio... i was in my regular classroom, where the school staff had decided to stuff the overflowing seniors into.

SPEAKING OF THE GODDAMN MECA STAFF....
Carmeda is gone. Sean is gone. Even our school president was replaced by some young guy who dosen't know what the fuck he's doing. seriously, he has no clue; our mail keys don't work. our dorm front key's don't work. We didn't even fucking have internet until the third week of being here!! i dont know where the hell this guy came from, but he had best be going back. what a dumbass.

well, aside from all that, everything seems to be going according to regulation; nobody says 'hi' to me in the halls; when i try to say 'hi', i get that whole 'stare you down' thing out of the corner of thier eyes; i opened this door for some girl the other day, and this stupid bag of period blood looks at me and says "i can open the door myself, you male jerk!" YOU FUCKING BITCH! what the fuck?!? I'm sorry if i showed you courtesy by not slamming the door in the face, in which case you would have yelled at me for that too! On top of everything else, how the hell could you POSSIBLY be so vain as to think that i opened it because of your gender? i hardly got a chance to LOOK at your ugly pizzaface before making the decision of holding it open or not! self-flattary only works when you have a chance to back it up, you stupid wench!

The only thing worse than those self-absorbent assholes are these moronic fucking know-it-alls, who really dont know-at-all. They're all around portland, always clutching a cup of the most expensive coffee (or tea) they can buy from the most trendy coffee-makers in the state. Or city. Or... wait- they're not trendy at all, they just trick you into thinking they are by putting a cool logo on paper cups, and charging four dollars more than what hot water and a teabag are worth. That doesn't make you smart, idiot, that makes you stupid.
These people are the kind that always use overly-elaborate words to get they're point across. Half the time, the words they use make sense, and the other half they just try to confuse you so you'll just assume they're right. And they always talk. always. in a group of large people, these are the people who will talk more than anyone else in the room. Goddamn, I don't need a fucking english lesson each time i'm forced to sit through a critique with one of these morons with bigger mouths and egos than minds.
These are also the same nimrods who act offended whenever you say something that's 'low-brow'. Don't get me wrong, i think that people need to keep a certain amount of class, but these idiots take it to the next level.


Even worse on my shit-list are these stupid pukebag "artists". You know what i mean; the little bastards who grow out their hair over their eyes, dye it black, wear studded belts, and have the 'life is pain' attitude. Have you ever noticed that they all seem to have some shattered past behind them? it just takes about two or three before you come to the decision that they're all full of shit. Going to 'hot topic' and choosing the darkest shade of black for your nails doesn't make you badass-it just makes you look bad.
Likewise, there's the long-haired, unshaven ruffian who's always stretching his arms, and tilting his head, in order that he can see the world in a different way. This different way of seeing things makes him unique from his peers, and a strong force to be reckoned with in the artistic battlefield. or not. no, dumbass, the reason you're constantly stretching your arms and walking differently is because you've never done a day of work in your life, and your muscles are just loose from lack of toning. You're not 'the chosen one' and you're not unique... unless of course you want to say you're unique from being so much more lazy than everyone else. GRRAH! I HATE YOU! DIE!

sigh.
wow. i feel alot better.